Article by Marry
ONE OF THE HARDEST PARTS of living with a chronic illness like MS is thinking that you have to face it alone–but you really don’t. Whenever I begin to feel alone, I try to remember to reach out to a friend to help me do errands, pray with me, or just talk. Prayer is probably the most healing thing I do. In the morning, I pour myself a cup of coffee, light a candle, and pray the psalms. I am always struck by the ones that speak of healing. From praying the psalms, my thinking changes from what I can’t do with MS to what I can.
At rst I thought it was my new “industrial strength” support pantyhose that caused the numbness in my legs. It was October of my rst year teaching junior high. I went to the doctor, thinking I had pinched a nerve. Three weeks later, I came out of the hospital with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. I was twenty-two years old.
That was twenty-eight years ago, and a lot of things have changed for me since then. These days I walk with a cane and wear a leg-strengthening brace.
But for the rst twelve years, my MS was mostly dormant–my legs tired easily, but there were no other symptoms. Gradually, the neurological disease progressed, and I decided I had to do something to help me cope. The decision to take control of my MS was not dramatic. It happened over time–and is still happening–through the choices I make.
I think my family background, my faith, and my philosophy of life have made me see the “everybody’s got something, nobody’s perfect” part of the human condition. Of course, I have moments when I shed tears because I want to do more things, but the fact is, I can’t. We humans have many facets: we are physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, and social beings. For me, the transforming power of MS has come through my spirituality.
I spend a lot of time resting, doing physical therapy, taking medicine, and praying. I’m a Roman Catholic nun with the Sisters of St. Francis of Sylvania, Ohio, and I try to live by St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer: “Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace.” I nd great comfort in scripture and prayer. Prayer guides me to do things that are right for me. Every time I do my thirty-ve-minute mat exercise program in physical therapy, I say a silent prayer. It’s the prayer that helps me do these things with hope in my heart.
You know, people have always used prayer, music, ritual imagination, and faith along with traditional therapies to cope with disease. These days we may call these “alternative therapies,” but they’re such an important part of the healing process. I know that many people in the world of medicine are skeptical of prayer, and I’m grateful that my medical professionals have always supported me in my beliefs.
If I had to pinpoint the major turning points in how I look at this disease, one of them would have to be the night I watched the series nale of Murphy Brown. Murphy is just nishing a six-month course of chemotherapy for breast cancer and is at the doctor’s ofce for a nal mammogram. She is ready to say to the nurse, “Okay, it’s been real, see you in six months,” and walk out, but the nurse tells her that the doctor needs to talk with her about a suspicious spot on her breast.
Murphy is scheduled to have exploratory surgery the next day. While under the anesthetic, she has a dream about her job. In her waking life, she’s been planning to retire from her job as a top-notch investigative news reporter for a major network news show and enjoy life, because, as she says, “The only person I haven’t interviewed is God!” Of course, in her dream, she interviews God.
After a few general questions about God’s age, who goes to Heaven, and why evil happens in the world, God answers Murphy’s question, “Why in the hell (oops, excuse me, heck) do I have breast cancer” with the answer, “Your cancer is a gift.”
Murphy wakes up to discover that the tumor is benign, goes back to work, and truly experiences a conversion. She is no longer the cynical reporter she once was. Her disease, her gift, transformed her.Hearing this brought me to tears. I gave myself some time to analyze my feelings and realized that my MS is a gift too.
Of course most people would think this is nuts! I walk slowly with a cane and a leg brace. Everything takes longer, and getting around can be pretty painful. But I have so much to be grateful for. Living with this disease for twenty-three years has shown me just how much love there is in this world. I have so many wonderful people in my life, so many friends who travel with me, shop with me, or go to a movie with me, and support me in my fundraising activities. And then there’s Sister Act.
Sister Act is our team for the walk that raises money for the National MS Society’s efforts to ?nd a cure. We just celebrated our tenth anniversary. The size of the team changes year to year, but one year we had about twenty sisters walking. We are quite an act. The sisters, who do this as a ministry, range from elementary school principals and teachers, to college professors, to hospital chaplains and physical therapists and nurses. We hope to raise our annual ,000 this year and bring our grand total to ,000.
About the Author
I’m Marry , which offers quality products such as China Roll Barbed Wire, Galvanized Iron Wire, and many more. Know more , please visit Hexagonal Wire Mesh .
